omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Top - Nicola looking very put out/pissed off, head back, eyes closed and mouth open…- Bottom - Malcolm looking thoughtful and devilishly cunning as per usual]
(206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him…

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Top - Nicola looking very put out/pissed off, head back, eyes closed and mouth open…- Bottom - Malcolm looking thoughtful and devilishly cunning as per usual]

(206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him…

duckodeathreturns:

So the jackalopesays won’t have to scroll through 23 more archive pages for a gif that isn’t actually there.*

Malcolm, reacting about as reasonably as you’d expect about having made a preventable mistake, but very politely explaining exactly how he’s being rude (while also giving away his class roots). 

Terri, who is never wrong about Malcolm’s mood or his need for an enforced naptime, failing as always to make him mind his manners towards her (but at least she has a really nice silver turtle pin).

Nicola, very obviously enjoying the hell out of it being Malcolm on the back foot for once, while seeming to find his embarrassment completely adorable (because let’s face it, she has her sadistic streak too).

*Since now it will be!

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Nicola looking depressed and pissed off at Malcolm who is talking to her]
(315): Hello wreck, this is your train calling

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Nicola looking depressed and pissed off at Malcolm who is talking to her]

(315): Hello wreck, this is your train calling

duckodeathreturns:

Oh, Malcolm, if only if were that simple…

(I do love how Nicola trusts Snuggly!Malc and his universal have-a-hot-drinky hand gesture least of all and how Snuggly!Malc’s face conveys his total absolute utter profound blankness at Nicola’s particular hot drinky of choice.)

the-crazy-geek:

omnishamblestexts:

[Images - Nicola talking to Malcolm offscreen. Malcolm smiling in the car. Peter Capaldi in epic drag]
(+61): I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser

Happy 800 followers omnishamblestexts (which has shot OVER that total now) . Love, The Management :)

the-crazy-geek:

omnishamblestexts:

[Images - Nicola talking to Malcolm offscreen. Malcolm smiling in the car. Peter Capaldi in epic drag]

(+61): I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser

Happy 800 followers omnishamblestexts (which has shot OVER that total now) . Love, The Management :)

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Nicola in a very sexy black suit with a smile on her face is talking to Malcolm - who is holding his trademark collection of files and definitely not smiling]
(613): Well despite the fact that I’m still not entirely sure this isn’t an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I’m in.

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Nicola in a very sexy black suit with a smile on her face is talking to Malcolm - who is holding his trademark collection of files and definitely not smiling]

(613): Well despite the fact that I’m still not entirely sure this isn’t an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I’m in.

duckodeathreturns:

After this past week, another option for Malcolm’s future that really shouldn’t be overlooked is his becoming the political fashion correspondent for The Daily Mail.

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Nicola jumping up and down on a cushion in a hotel room, clearly rather pissed off]
(209): i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Nicola jumping up and down on a cushion in a hotel room, clearly rather pissed off]

(209): i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

duckodeathreturns:

I was just wondering, from the obvious nature of the show, we know what Malcolm’s political views are- he’s clearly belonging to the ttoi universe’s equivalent of labour so he’s obviously a leftist. However, governmental politics and social politics come hand in hand. Do you have any idea of any possible social stances Malcolm takes? it would be really interesting to know your take on it as you seem to have a really in depth insight into ttoi and malcolm especially.

(as asked by an Anon)

Hi, Anon, if you’re even still out there, I bet you thought I’d never post my answer, but here it finally is!

In my post way back when about ITL Malcolm and the war, my position was and is that ITL Malcolm didn’t give a damn one way or the other whether it happened or not.  He had no personal feelings on the matter and his only concern was pushing whatever line the government was selling at each particular moment, even if that line was the exact total opposite of whatever line he’d been selling the previous moment.

I don’t think TTOI Malcolm is anywhere near that bad in terms absolute amorality, but I’m not sure we ever get much of a chance to see Malcolm’s true inner feelings about the policies he was required to sell, except on the couple of occasions in series 3 when he talked about the mental toll the job had taken on him, and then in series 4 we hear about the mental toll again in 407, which really only confirms what we’d already seen from his series 4 physical transformation into a skeleton stick-man.

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duckodeathreturns:

Nicola, put down the mobile, pick up your arm and DANCE!

(Even if your choppy arm dance is not quite as inherently rhythmic as Malcolm’s flappy hands noodle arm dance.)

Obviously, the single greatest tragedy of Malcolm and NIcola’s relationship — possibly the single greatest tragedy of ALL of The Thick of It — was their inability to arm dance together when it really counted.  It’s just by that much that they missed their chance to rule the world!

Drabble: Post-crackfic - Nicola the Witch

the-crazy-geek:

Post Crackfic. Nicola the witch pondering things. (Unedited, unproofed, unfinished and written at gone midnight..)

**

Post Crackfic. Nicola the witch pondering things. (Unedited, unproofed, unfinished and written at gone midnight..)

Nicola Murray, MP, DoSaC Minister and head witch of the Westminster coven had been trying to work out how a Winged Malcolm had jumped realities into her own one. She’d read book after book of magical theory and dimensional magic and now she was on to theoretical physics tomes, just trying to find an answer.

As she knew, firsthand, how much raw power it took to send Malcolm back to his own reality, it followed that him coming here must have used an equivocal amount. Winged Malcolm hadn’t mentioned anything about nuclear weapons testing in London, and there wasn’t a lot else that could have torn a hole in reality that large. His assertion that he’d been shagging so hard he’d fallen off his world was laughable. While sex did create a lot of energies, there were no witches on his side that could channel and direct the forces, and without a witch all he’d have was maybe a few scorch marks on furniture and a big hole where a wall used to be.

She’d paid an artist that she’d found on Tumblr (her eldest daughter seemed to spend a lot of time there) to create a sketch of her with wings. The minimal research she’d had time to do on the site seemed to show a group for just about anything, so she simply claimed to have a fetish for MPs as mythical creatures, which was totally accepted. She even found a community for it.

The artist had done an amazing job, mixing photoshop and sketching pencils to create a beautiful piece that Nicola gladly paid for. The image stayed on her personal phone, where Malcolm wouldn’t see it. A summer photo of her showed her wind blown brunette hair lovingly offset by the copper tones on her wings, shading down to dark brown at the tips. Looking at the picture, she could almost hear the feathers rustle in the breeze and her mind leapt back to that evening when a Malcolm with wings had ended up in her bed.

Looking over at her shelves her eyes rested on a crystal pyramid, a big lump of mineral encasing a pewter grey feather. Malcolm’s feather. 

When she missed a meeting with her world’s Malcolm later that day she was very careful to not say that she’d been searching through the tomes of her order to try and find a way for a witch to grow wings…and fly.