Last night I had a dream that there was a movie where Peter Capaldi played a super-smooth and competent con man and Rebecca Front played his mistress/partner-in-crime.
And then at the end,the long arm of the law came for him and then, Capaldi!Con Man made out with Rebecca (with serious tongue action !!! :D :D :D) partly to say goodbye to his girlfriend but mostly to conceal the fact that she was smuggling him a lockpick for his handcuffs.
And now I need all the Malcola AUs and/or Frapaldi dreamcasts even marginally connected to this idea: Bonnie and Clyde AU, Catch Me if You Can AU, Roaring 20s AU (you get the picture)
"I believe very strongly that when it comes to desire, when it comes to attraction, that things are never black and white, things are very much shades of grey."
—Brian Molko, musician
(Also posted on my blog, but I wrote it with you guys in mind :p)
“You’re a fucking useless brain-dead fuckwit who has as much grasp of politics as a diseased trout and, yet again, you expect me to clean up your fucking heaps of steaming shite!” Malcolm was in fine voice, veins standing out against reddened skin as he tore verbal strips off her. “Crap, just fucking crap, I had a weekend planned that didn’t feature you at all and no I’ve got to ring my family and tell them that the reason I’m no’ visiting is because there is a useless fucking bint here who needs me tae do everything for her!”
Nicola felt almost guilty. Family was important after all.
“Fuck, I fucking hate ye, ye know? Loathe, despise, all them words,” he stepped closer, “I’d want ye dead really.” Taking another step he was now right next to her, snarling into her face. “And the most fucking annoying thing,” his hand reached out and brushed against her hip, “is that I still fucking want ye.” Malcolm pulled her in for a searing kiss, his hands grasping her body and holding her tightly against him. He ordered her to ‘get ye kecks off’ and in a matter of seconds he’d laid her on the sofa, pounced on top of her like a tiger and was ravaging her.
She threw her head back and moaned, loudly, as his wandering fingers slipped between her legs and-
“Are you quite alright?” her husband’s voice rang out and she awoke suddenly to find him shaking her shoulder. “You were making a hell of a racket, that Malcolm fella been giving you nightmares again?”
Nicola looked over at James and nodded. “Something like that yes. He’s terrifying” and fucking sexy and god am I wet right now. “I’ll be fine, you go back to sleep, I’ll just go get a drink of water.” she threw a lightweight dressing gown (silk, designer, brought for her when their marriage actually meant something to him) over her shoulders and padded downstairs.
The dreams were getting more frequent, always the same start of Malcolm swearing at her and then making mad passionate love to her on the floor or desk or wherever they happened to be. This was the 3rd time this week she’d woken up mid-moan and soaking her pyjama bottoms and she didn’t know how much more she could take.
Listening out for any movement upstairs that might herald one of the kids coming down, Nicola slipped her hand down into her trousers and between her legs, sighing as her fingers brushed against her aching core and started to circle around her swollen clit. Bracing her other hand on the side of the kitchen chair she increased her motions and fought to stifle her heavy breathing as the pleasure inside her grew.
Malcolm, hard, on my knees, sucking him, moaning, he’s going to come, in my mouth, on my tits, fucking me hard and coming inside me-
Biting her lip to remain silent; Nicola let out a tiny grunt as her body shuddered and pulsed through a series of small intense orgasms.
Third time this week. She couldn’t go on like this….
You are welcome to use or edit any screencaps or edits that are mine (under the tag myedits), though I would appreciate it if you credited this blog for the fancier edits since even though they are usually terrible, I do work very hard to make them less so.
Unfortunately, I don’t currently have a lot of unedited screencaps to offer as I accidentally misplaced all of my TTOI ones (please don’t ask; it’s very embarrassing) and still have to go through the recapping process.
TTOI is small and new enough that unfortunately most people do their own individual screencapping and it hasn’t been added any of the big sites. I was able to find THESE but they are only for 3x05 and 3x06 so not sure how much help that would be.
Well anon, you’re gonna be extremely hard pressed to find fic in which Malc is not a sweary man, since swearing and language in general is such a crucial component to Malcolm’s characterization and identity. When I started writing for them, I was pretty much the biggest prude in creation but I just had to bite the bullet and start dropping the f-bomb much more frequently in my writing than I was really comfortable with.
That being said, there are plenty of fics where Malc behaves in a rather gentlemanly fashion towards Nicola, albeit a gentleman who still swears like a sailor and at times is more than a bit of an arse. Your best bet is in the fluff category (of which there is a separate link on the fic rec page on the sidebar) because that is where most of the cutesty domestic fic is where we have wonderful and (possibly OOC) things like Malc cooking for Nicola and having pillow fights with Nicola and just awwww…
Here are a few specific recommendations if you don’t feel like trolling through the whole fluff list.
Cooking (gen/fluff) Malcolm cooks for a sick Nicola and her kids.
Cooking and Other Dangerous Pursuits (Fluff/Established Relationship)—Nicola has a culinary-shaped accident while helping Malcolm prepare a special meal. (Post-Canon; Warning for : Sexual references)
Little Cracks that Escalate (hurt/comfort)Three hugs Malcolm gave Nicola when she really needed them, and one hug she gave to him.
Malcolm’s Valentine’s Day(gen/friendship). Not really gen so much as Malcolm/Jamie instead of Malcolm/Nicola. But there is still some lovely M/N interaction and a few bits that might be construed as shippy
Nicola’s ever-present marriage troubles amount to a crisis. Malcolm is surprisingly supportive (Hurt/Comfort/ Angst. Warning for: references to domestic violence)
Nightmares (Post canon/established relationship)—Despite the fact that Nicola deals with terrifying and imposing figures every day of her working life, somehow Doctor Who still gives her nightmares. Despite being one of the most self assured men alive, Malcolm is not coping with Nicola’s penchant for David Tennant.
Pancakes (Post-canon/established relationship/domestic) Nicola likes it when Malcolm cooks.
Pregnancy Malcolm finds himself very attracted to his pregnant partner. (Technically written as Malcolm/Ambiguous Female but it’s pretty easy to read Nicola into it. Warning for nongraphic implied sexytimes)
Shelter “Do you really think I’d be standing on your doorstep in near-flood conditions with no umbrella if it wasn’t fucking urgent as hell?” When her personal life is in crisis, Nicola knows exactly where to turn.
And this one isn’t particularly fluffy and Malc isn’t particularly gallant in it but despite his political cruelty to Nicola, he’s rather gentlemanly about handling his attraction to her without pressuring her in anyway. Also it’s my fave M/N fic and makes me almost cry so I recommend it to everyone.
Thursday the Fifth of July —Malcolm is all-but-dead inside after the Inquiry, so a friend persuades the one person who might bring some of his passion and fire to try. (Not- totally-completed and written prior to 4x07. But don’t let either of those put you off. It’s still probably the best M/N fic I’ve ever read.
I almost cried over it and I never do that over fic.Watching a Film Together
Okay, so I never do this, I’ve not even acknowledged that I write fanfiction on Tumblr before, but some people’s behaviour is so poor, so deeply and thoroughly offensive that it needs to be remarked upon. Tonight I experienced such behaviour.
On the whole, I’ve usually found the fanfiction world pretty supportive and generally good. I think there’s a recognition that none of us are getting paid, we’re doing it out of love and to hone our craft. But sometimes you come across people who aren’t constructive, and are quite simply arseholes. So here goes.
Dear anonymous reviewer/cowardly fucking arseclown troll:
You’ve read my story of your own volition. If you don’t like the ship, I am astounded that you’ve trawled through more than thirty thousand words of it. It’s never pretended to be anything other than Malcola. I certainly have never disguised this fact. Once again, it was your decision to read it.
In fact, dear reader, here’s a fun fact about me: I don’t like a whooole bunch of very popular ships. You know what I choose to do with my time? READ SOMETHING I DON’T HATE AND LET THE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THOSE SHIPS SAIL AWAY ON THEM AS IS THE CONVENTIONAL FUCKING PATTERN OF FANDOM.
Secondly, posting shit like this anonymously is pitiful, cowardly, and pathetic. You want to jab at something I actually worked very fucking hard on for no reason and to no end while giving me no opportunity to verbally eviscerate you in the manner of Malcolm Tucker? Well once again, that makes you an utter coward. And it is this cowardice that means I’m not saying all this directly to you in a private forum, I’m broadcasting it on the internet. Because fuck you. Read something else. Fandom isn’t where I go to have arseholes throw stones at me for no apparent reason, and how dare you make it that. How dare any troll ever make it that for anyone. Get fucked. Get fucked, get fucked, and then get fucked some more.
On that note I’m deleting your review. Now fuck you, and thank you hater!
I’ll leave you with Isabel Fay, because she reacted more pithily to the whole troll situation. Because you’re not the worst internet troll I’ve ever had, but yes, you’re a fucking troll, and because of this fact I will picture you wanking like a gibbon (although in reality you’re probably an illiterate twelve year old). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz2jbCJXkpA
We feel your pain, dear. Quite a few of us have had similar experiences with people giving us grief over our pairing/attempting to convince us not to ship it. But your fellow shippers are there for you, understanding your frustration and sharing hugs.